With love comes respect. Where there is no respect, there is no love. Number 1 lessoned learned this summer.
When you are in love, you heart overpowers your mind. You fail to properly react fairly to the wrongs against you. You only see the good. When a dilemma occurs that is obviously questionable to you and others around you, you quickly look past it, simply because you are in love. I was fully aware the situations, their implications and knew that lies were embedded within them. But I consistently gave the individual I committed myself to the benefit of the doubt. I allowed her to blame my anger over these quandaries on "my insecurities," knowing very well my insecurities were not related to the ongoing affairs looming beyond our relationship. But I loved her and I allowed my love for her to cloud my common sense.
We broke up.
The drama prolonged into the early summer. I knew our situation was very detrimental to my health both physically and mentally, especially because I recognized that she withheld a lot of information that pertained to our relationship. Yet I greatly desired to mend our wounds and start over again. This is where the lesson was learned.
With love comes respect.
Constantly we would converse about meeting in person in order to discuss our delicate situation like two mature adults. She understood the discussion was very imperative to me. But she consistently cancelled by making an excuse and leaving me to wonder when our discourse would finally take place. Soon one, then two, then three months transgressed. During this time we fought back and forth over our break up and over our potential meeting.
The meeting never took place.
I would bend over backwards to fulfill her every desire both before and after our breakup. I can not say the same for her. Cancelling and prolonging the conversation only portrayed how she did not respect my feelings about our situation. She selfishly functioned only around her time. It revealed how she did not care about the situation, and also showed how she did not care for me.
With love comes respect.
When someone truly loves or cares for a person, they respect their thoughts, beliefs, ideologies, and feelings. My ex simply disregarded my desires and feelings concerning our engagements. She did not care for me. She did not love me as she claimed she did, otherwise she'd run 1000 miles to fix our problems as I had. And then she simply stopped speaking to me when I revealed I was disturbed about another situation I didn't care for.
She simply had no respect for me. Where there is no respect, there is no love.
Through the course of her disrespectful actions towards me (yes there is plenty more), I quickly fell out of love. Upon falling out of love, I was capable of seeing our situation from a bystander's point of view. I understood all the wrongs done to me. Yes, I was angry with her, but I became more angry with myself because I allowed them to occur when I knew they were happening. While I am at fault for allowing the wrongs to reoccur, she is still in the wrong for her disrespect. These actions included leading me on to believe we'd fix our problems when those were never her intentions. She has also lied to others about the arguments between us in order to make herself appear as a victim who has repeatedly attempted to rebuild and proclaimed I left her in the dust. This lie (and others) now make me laugh at her immaturity.
At one point in my life, I'd do anything this female asked of me. Now I could care less about her. I can't find it in my heart to care for anyone who outright disrespects me. When you allow that to happen, you disrespect yourself first.
So for those who are in love (whether in a relationship or out) and suspicious matters are at hand, just remember: With love comes respect.... Where there is no respect, there is no love.
*Just [Free]*
"Yes I was burned but I call it a lesson learned."
