It's an ordinary day. You arrive at your dorm from class . Your thoughts linger to the events that may occur later that evening. A traditional "date", at least by college standards. You remember to ask your roommate to "vacate" the room for a few hours. This request is a clear indication for you need of privacy. You roommate concedes without argument.
The following day, you become cognizant of a video streamed live for the viewing pleasures of other students on campus. Subsequently, you realize the video is of you having sex with your date. Your entire sex life is exposed. Your privacy is completely violated. You are hurt and humiliated. More importantly, you feel naked, literally and metaphorically, to many faceless students and maybe even some close buddies. What do you do? What can you do? You don't want to face this public scrutiny. It's too much, far beyond your grasp of control. So you drive to nearest bridge.
You Jump.
Tyler Clementi jumped. He was a Young 18yr old, talented violinist, and student at Rutgers University. He also happened to be gay.
What would you have done if you were in his shoes? What could you do if your sex life and orientation were exposed without your knowledge? Your options seem meager, if any at all.
Would you jump?
I wonder, would his roommate violate his privacy if Clementi wasn't gay? Although it has been reported there is no evidence Dharan Ravi, Clementi's roommate had suspicion of Clementi's sexuality, he did secretly set up a video camera in his room before he left and accessed it while in the room of Molly Wei. Ravi then tweeted, Clementi's intimate moments, "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay." Ravi could have been reasonable (and should have) disconnected from the camera, then engaged in some other unruly activity. Instead, he continued to watch and eventually streamed the live feed to friends over iChat.
Would Ravi broadcast if Clementi's date was a female? What if they were both female. Would Ravi broadcast the feed if Clementi's partner was a male or females? Considering the prior circumstances, I believe no. It seems Ravi was entirely motivated by his inquiries of Clementi's orientation. You would believe a college student is a young, logical individual who surpassed the bullying age predominant in elementary and high school. Unfortunately, Ravi succumbed to one of the most lethal weapons of modern society: cyber bullying.
Again I ask, would you jump?
Many other young men did. Justing Aaberg came out at 13. At 15, he hung himself. Billy Lucas, another 15 yr old, also hung himself. Although he never expressed that he was gay, He was relentlessly reproved by peers for being different. Asher Brown, only 13, shot himself the same day he came out to his parents. His parents were supportive, but he was constantly reviled by schoolmates. Self Walsh, 13, died in the hospital 9 days after he hung himself. Very recently, college student Raymond Chase, 19, hung himself in his dorm room.
Would you jump?
Two days ago, two men assaulted a gay man while screaming "Faggot" and other gay slurs. This occurred at the iconic Stonewall Inn known for the "Stonewall Riots" that initiated our Gay Rights Movement.
These incidents are clear signs that homophobia is on the rise. Or perhaps it never disappeared at all. Perhaps, after several laws were instituted, prejudice individuals decided to keep to themselves, but continued to pass their prejudices conventions to their children and grandchildren. Homophobia persisted and homophobic incidents gained way as these newer generations have no fears of the repercussions after an attack. For a homosexual, the chances of becoming a hate crime victim today seems virtually the same as in 1969, the same year the Stonewall riots occurred.
Would you leap?
Would I leap? I'm gay. I wear men's pants, ties, and blazers that enhance my broad shoulders. I'm stared at constantly. Many times these looks are in disgust. I've been told I'm "too pretty" to be gay. I was verbally harassed in elementary school, and occasionally I endured a few scuffles. I cried those years. I was hurt. I hated myself and prayed God would make me straight some days. At one point, I contemplated taking my own life on a regular basis. Who wanted to be tortured? I didn't.
Would I leap?
No.
No.
If I lept, I'd let others win. I'd allow others to determine that I don't deserve to be here, because I am gay. Had I been in Clementi's shoes, I wouldn't leap. I hold my privacy to the highest regard. Due to my strong ego, I'd feel very humiliated. But simultaneously, because of my ego, I'd want to prove to the same people who taunted me that I am a better person.
Would I leap? No.
But I can't say I wouldn't think about it.
