A new poem... finally releasing 4 to 5 months of bottled emotions.
It will remain untitled...
so take it for what it is:
Untitled
Contemplating the trials and tribulations
Of my ephemeral situations
I ruminate over why those I fervidly enamored
Have precipitately fallen apart
Cognizant I could devote a lifetime
Deciphering the enigmas of my heart.
Nevertheless, I’ll always remain curious
Why are humans so in love with love?
When their zeal and obsession
For perfection
Forges a love purely spurious.
Seems we are only playing
Life’s never-ending game:
Love is the child and we are its toys
Love is aware of human desperation
To fill many emotional voids.
We envision our perfect “Forever”
An ideal lover
Who’s beautiful, funny and clever,
A genuine love that simply falls in place
Yet when love becomes tangible,
Impetuously, we cop out in haste.
We build walls higher than God’s blue skies
Because “perfect” is an augury of misfortune,
Or perhaps we allow our insecurities
To manipulate our minds.
Yes,
Many are jaded by our previous “perfections.”
We fell asleep atop the clouds of heaven,
Only to wake up to the burning fires of hell
As our “Forever”
Slowly evolved into our never
And our days of mourning dwelled.
Undeniably deplorable is not the love we lost,
But rather the love we never attained,
The love full of much potential
Devastingly obliterated
Because “Perfection” drove our insecurities insane.
Consequently, we leave the other hurt, bruised
Their emotions damaged and abused,
As shamefully, human foibles perforce oust the other
Because they were “too good to be true.”
We then expiate our actions with a sophistry
So eloquently articulated,
We begin to believe it true,
Feeling exonerated
When truly, it is oneself who has been duped,
By guiles of insecurities too abstruse
For human comprehension.
Nonetheless, we persistently
And desperately pursue our quests for love,
Furthermore, accumulating deeper self resentment.
Swallowed by our egos,
Into a deeper abyss we fall
“Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.”
PhiloSo[Free]
Experience is the name we give to our Mistakes ★
3 comments:
Constructive criticism: I like the message you're trying to get across, but throughout your poem I couldn't shake the feeling that you had been overusing a thesaurus. Let your heart and mind speak naturally... don't worry about eloquence or having a huge vocabulary. Your intellect will shine through on its own; you don't have to prove that by decreasing readability by throwing in grandiose words. Some of the best poems I've ever read have been chock-full of grammatical errors. Simplicity is beautiful. Read some stuff by Tupac Shakur. He wasn't very articulate, but take a look at this poem he wrote...
Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.
Compare that with this:
Did you auscultate regarding the rose that sprouted
from a fissure in the concrete?
Illustrating nature's legislature is fallacious it
perused motility without possessing appendages.
Jocular it appears...
Well, you get the point.
I loved every single part of this!
Um...hmmm I wish I knew the Anonymous author. While yes I do understand why you'd feel I whipped out my Thesaurus for this poem, it's all derived from my mind. I've been studying for GRE's the past month and well I suppose you could say my mind is a bit overloaded with a larger vocabulary for the time being (and is therefore reflected in this poem). Then again many of my poems contain such cryptic vocabulary. And while I also understand it makes the poem a tad but difficult to decipher, It was actually my intention. It took for me many months to finally comprehend my feelings over particular situations and I desired a poem that would reflect such emotions. Yes simplicity is key. Grandiose vernacular is a bit paradoxical, but entirely appropriate for my intricate thoughts and my methods of expression. Now, I hope my explanation is not fallacious. I do greatly appreciate your feedback and hope that you will comment with your thoughts more often =]
And please check out my other poetry:
Facebook.com/Philo.So.Free
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